IHAO on ... Horrible Bosses 2

I did not see Horrible Bosses.  I didn't see it for a very simple reason: I don't like Charlie Day, Jason Sudekis, or really Jason Bateman.  If I don't like the three leading men in a comedy, yeah, pretty sure I don't want to see it.  And it isn't really their fault.  They are pretty decent actors.  It is just they almost always play the EXACT SAME CHARACTERS.  Jason Sudekis is smiling doofy idiot sex guy.  Charlie is manic high-pitched tweaked out idiot.  Jason Bateman is stuck up egotist know-it-all guy.  Why do I want to watch that over and over again?  Well, I was taken to the movies by a friend anyway, and he bought my ticket, so I watched it, knowing nothing of the first film.  Nothing, I couldn't tell you an ounce of plot.

Before I get into this movie, first I wanna talk about the trailers.  I haven't done a Trailer Trash in a long while, mostly because my tablet got broken and then replaced and the app I was using doesn't work as well on the new one.  Is that a thing you guys would like to see back?  Lemme know in the comments.  Anyway, I hadn't seen a lot of the trailers in front of this film, and it looks like we are in for a lot of stupid comedies coming up in the next few months.  I am not a stupid comedies kind of guy, not really.  Sometimes I can get behind one, and sometimes the craft of the comedy is perfect, but in the end, I always prefer cool characters doing cool things, and comedies tend to focus on garbage characters doing asinine things.  So be looking forward to those reviews coming this first few months of the year 2015.

This is what my theater going experience is probably going to be like until April.  Help me.

Ok, so Horrible Bosses 2 ... was way more enjoyable than I expected.  In fact, I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, the third act in particular.  The movie opened with a bunch of Austin Powers style jokes and the kind of dialogue you expect from Always Sunny meets SNL meets Arrested Development, which irritated me to no end.  The ... I guess they were too big to be "cameos" but man they sure felt like cameos for Jennifer Aniston, Kevin Spacey, and Jamie Foxx, whatever, their parts were ... meh.  The actual plot tried to fit the idea of this whole "bosses" thing too many times in five minutes, as if being self-employed is some huge deal.  But once we actually met Christoph Waltz and Chris Pine, and the plot actually started going with the kidnapping and stuff, the movies started to get me involved instead of just rolling my eyes and sighing at the stupid sex jokes and gross out humor.

Then Act 3 happened.  And man, did it impress me.  One of my favorite movies of the past few years was Tower Heist.  It had heart, it was really funny, it was pulse-pounding, and it was a good heist film!  That's what this movie turned into, for the most part.  There was a small worthless section with Jennifer Aniston I could have done without, but yeah, it was pretty fantastic.  It played out in a really cool way that I know I have seen before, but not done this well or like this.  Sean Anders, who I had completely written off as a terrible director actually did some really great work!  I am still legitimately impressed with how well the last third of the movie went.

I wish I could say the rest of the movie was worth watching for me.  But I bet you if you like a harmless adult comedy, and like the comedians here, and don't care about stupid plot and characters, that this movie will not only be a comedy you'll really enjoy, but it may also actually impress you.

Grade: B ... ALMOST +

IHAO on ... Troop Beverly Hills - READER REQUEST

requested by Paul Conroy

For a long time this has sat on my pile of films to watch.  Luckily I waited long enough, because it popped up on Netflix December 1st, and I've finally found myself time to review it!

Before it started, I had a few expectations of Shelley Long.  I had seen her previous in only two places: Cheers and a made for TV ABC special version of Freaky Friday.  I loved Freaky Friday and I hated Cheers.  When watching Frasier, the episode with Shelley Long in that was a Cheers parody came up and I was shocked by how much I enjoyed it, and her.  And I realized that I had been placing blame of a character and writing style that I didn't like on the actress.  So I started this film with a fresh mind, especially considering how many times the requester told me how much he loved the movie, and he and I have some pretty common ground when it comes to film comedies we think are funny.  But is this movie funny?

Absolutely.  Absolutely is it funny.  I want to sit down and do a double feature with it and Major Payne some day, because both movies are similar in plot: major character is odd and going through personal things while having to help a bunch of kids who all have their own problems and issues, and together they all help everyone while also stopping the evil bad guys.  Troop Beverly Hills' plot and characters are for the most part less nuanced than Major Payne, which is one of my few true criticisms of the film, but it makes up for it by being exceptionally clever.  I have never laughed so hard at the opening of a jar of mayonnaise, and it is all in Shelley Long and Craig T. Nelson's acting and comedy chops without an ounce of dialogue.

I wanted to put the mayonnaise joke here in gif form, but I couldn't make it.  So I put this instead.  No reason.

The acting all around in this film is fantastic.  The script is mostly really great, though the villain is so cartoonishly villainous after seeing such interesting nuanced characters in the Neflers.  The real drawback is that the film has some crazy editing and direction in places, and some very on the nose music choices.  Every now and again a scene will cut to the new scene the second a line ends, which is crazy abrupt and the lines always felt like Phyllis had more to say.  Then there are emotional insert scenes that, while good, are shot as if they were a completely different movie, like the scene where the "spy" played by Mary Gross throws away her spy equipment, triumphantly ignoring the villain's wishes.

The movie is really fun and endearing, with some cliches that make it a little harder to swallow, but think of those cliches and bad bits of filmmaking as just a gel-cap that dissolves away making you in the end just feel better.  The movie doesn't break any new ground, but watching Shelley Long and Craig T. Nelson and all the girls do such a great job acting is really worth price of admission.

Grade: B+

Tomorrow will be the set up for the rules of the IHAO Dirty Santa game, with the next day being pictures and thoughts about the whole game!  I hope you are all excited, because I put a stupid amount of work into this that is almost entirely unnecessary.  Buh-bye!

IHAO on ... Fantastic Mr. Fox

One of the absolutely most difficult things to express to people about my grading system is that there are very good films out there that I hate.  I use my objective grade and subjective grade together thing to be able to talk about just those kinds of things.  But, honestly, my tastes are so diverse that I end up generally liking most really good movies because I just really like well made movies.  Segue, let's talk about Wes Anderson.

I remember watching The Royal Tenenbaums many years back.  It was suggested to me as a great film.  I liked a whole bunch of the actors, I had never heard of this guy, and I was told it was funny.  So I watch it.  And I hated it.  I later was shown Rushmore, which has a bunch of good actors and I was told it was funny.  I watch it.  And I hated it.  Man, do I hate this stuff.  So I say "this guy must not be my cup of tea" and leave it at that.

But so many film people I know love the guy and his films.  And so many non-film people really love his films.  They love the quirk and the weird and the slightly inhumanness of it all.  They love the high class characters dealing with being unable to unload their real emotions and stuck in a rut.  They love the odd music choices and the storybook strange camera placement and the overly meticulated - what? it could be a word - blocking.  And none of that is bad.  Not a single bit.  In fact, a lot of it is great.  And I hate all of it.  A pure, deep down inside me, personal subjective rancor that burns deep in the crucible of my soul in a fire of utter hatred and bile.  I just hate Wes Anderson's films.

Thank you, Vince Vaughn, for being the only gif I could find that showed true, complete, and utter hatred instead of "Haters Gonna Hate."

So I swore them off.  And I lived a happy life.  And then I started getting more into films.  I started forcing myself to be more critical, to see the things that are elements of great filmmaking, of seeking out great films, of learning why the films I love are actually well made, or not well made as the case was going to be in a lot of them.  Poor Chipmunk Adventure, with your beautiful musical, hilarious bad guys, terrible vignette-y plot, and only sometimes good looking animation.

At the same time, my rival Wes Anderson was looking for a new way to destroy me.  So he decided to take a form of filmmaking I love, stop motion, and a Roald Dahl story I LOVED since I was a child, Fantastic Mr. Fox, and turn his social commentary lens to it and tell his own story using Dahl's fantastic story as a fantastic backbone to make a fantastic movie.  A fantastic movie that I still utterly hate, even though I can see how good it is.

Plot: A crook and family man, Mr. Fox (Clooney), swears off stealing.  But the itch gets to him, so he plans on final big heist after years of living a white-color job of boredom for him.  But the farmers he steals from retaliate, and retaliate, and continue to retaliate, swearing to destroy everything because of Mr. Fox's hubris.

Let me do this.  You can already hear the hate in every word I write.  I yell each word at the top of my lungs, filled with ichor and bile, even the positive things.  So let me point out the few things that don't quite work in this film.  The voice cast, while in a few cases excellent, feels a little off, with the worst offender being Clooney, who actually is kind of emotionless, and that hurts the tone and morality of the film a bit.  Also, the mouth movements of the foxes doesn't match the voices, most noticably from profile.  And ... that's it.

Beyond those two legitimate complaints, there really is nothing "bad" about the movie.  In fact, in spite of myself, there were some moments I really loved.  Some characters I really enjoyed.  Those things I enjoyed were few and far between, and the stuff between them was stuff that made me wish I was removing layers of skin from my eyelids instead of watching it, but that is merely because I hate every choice Wes Anderson makes.  Every very good and valid choice.  Every excellent choice.  Every weird song works.  Every overly micromanaged shot makes the most out of the image we are seeing.  Every color correction and overly stylized set dressing all of it enhances the film.  This is a GOOD movie.  A great movie, really, I think.  And I just cannot stand it.

Grade: A--

IHAO on ... a bunch of movies!! - 26 Reviews

Hello everyone! 

Time is an enemy to everyone who is trying to do anything important.  Or at least time-sensitive.   I love being able to write reviews for everyone about everything, current, old, wrestling, television, just on everything, as well as writing all the sillier or more intricate reviews, like the Arbitrary Numbers and the Fantasy Bookings.  But that leaves very little time for me to be able to actually cover everything.  I can’t put out two reviews a day, because that is too much to ask you folks to read.  And I only put out 5 a week, but every week there is probably on average one new film or wrestling event to writing about, and that takes a slot.  Then there are weeks with many films, like I’ve had recently and will be moving into with Oscar season continuing.

So I came up with an idea.  I asked my facebook to give me a list of movies that they did not think I had seen.  I absorb entertainment and media like a sponge, and have watched a LOT of movies.  This way I can give shorter reviews on a bunch of things people might not think I’ve seen, as well as have a fun bank of things to come back to when I need inspiration.  In the nice long list of films, I probably saw a fifth of them, which is a great number.  So I’m going to review all 26 of the movies that were suggested that I have seen.  This will be a rapid fire barrage of reviews.  Let’s get going!

 Dinosaurs! – Nicole Clockel
An edu-tainment Claymation-y fun short about dinosaur life.  I remember specifically sitting with my best friend at the time, Karl, when we were 7 or 8 at his house, and between playing TMNT SNES games or with figures or running around outside, we watched this little video.  I’ve seen it since then as well, but it is a silly thing to talk about.  It is purposefully silly, and all kinds of weird, but really enjoyable.  It is on youtube, and I’ll linky it here.  I definitely think it is worth your time, because of nostalgia for some of you and just for fun in general.  It isn’t great by any means, but it is fun.
Grade: C+



Rat Race – Lenton Lees 
The semi-rebooting, more “another version” of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Rat Race features an incredible cast, and is a big ole chase/race comedy.  It is hilarious, has some heart, and some awesome music.  It is probably one of the best comedies to introduce people to a bunch of great comedians all at once, including Mr. Bean, Seth Green, Whoopi Goldberg, John Cleese, Breckin Mayer, Amy Smart, and Jon Lovitz.  Really enjoyable, though it doesn’t quite shoot that extra mile.  It sits in a nice comfortable zone that most good comedies do, where it is real good, but the actual film never tries to be any greater than that.  Highly recommend.
Grade: B++

The Longest Yard – Lenton Lees
Wrestlers!  Sandler the last time he was funny!  Except there’s sequences of it totally not being funny, too, because Sandler has to always ALWAYS write his characters as having enormous penises or getting the hottest women in the world.  But that’s fine, because that has very little actual impact on the movie.  This is probably one of my favorite sports films I’ve seen.  It actually goes that extra mile in film quality and technique, as well as just having incredible actors in Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner, Terry Crews, and a slew of awesome wrestler … not “cameos” as everyone’s screentime and character weight is larger than that.  It is an incredibly fun sports movie with a moving story, it is really funny, and even though it blatantly steals an entire scene from the British remake of the Longest Yard, Mean Machine, it is still a really fun movie that is also really good.  Probably my favorite Sandler film, and easily the one I think that is his best film.
Grade: A++

Ernest Saves Christmas – Lenton Lees
Here’s the thing about Ernest: you either love Jim Varney’s shenanigans, or you just don’t get it or see a point.  I personally find Ernest endearing.  In fact, this is the first Ernest film I saw, which is good, because it is also easily his highest budgeted, best looking, best acted, best directed, BEST Ernest film.  It tells a great story, has fun comedy, and is a Christmas classic in the Jessel household.  On top of that, I do believe it has my absolute favorite Santa Claus in film, played by the same dude who is the Sultan and Jasmine’s father in Aladdin!  He is perfect as Santa, and adds some amazing gravitas to what could have just been a frivolous and silly kids movie.  It isn’t one of the best movies ever made, and the effects are absolutely dated, but it is a wonderful movie.
Grade: B++

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut – Lenton Lees
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have made all of two things I like: South Park and Book of Mormon.  I do not like BASEketball, I don’t like Cannibal: the Musical, I don’t like Orgazmo.  But this movie is excellent.  It is an amazingly well made musical parody of just about every single style of musical, from Les Mis to Disney to Sound of Music.  The story itself has a purpose to exist as a film because it is about censorship, parental choices, and really nice satire of the “crusade” against cursing.  I really think this movie does everything right.  And its unique animation style makes it in a sense timeless, which is great!  Great movie.
Grade: A+

Much Ado About Nothing (Whedon version) – Lenton Lees
Not every movie that is a good movie I like.  Wes Anderson movies prove that.  As does this one.  One of the best things about Shakespeare is that every adaptation is 100% the director’s intention.  And some of Joss’ choices are awesome.  And some are not.  I think Whedon was able to really elevate the parts of Claudio and Don Pedro fantastically, making both parts have a lot more weight and interest than most versions of the show.  He also made some very good comedic choices early in the film.  But very quickly, the comedy of this comedy goes away.  And that’s … just … wrong.  Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy, pure and simple.  And Whedon treated it as a drama.  And that is a disservice to a lot of the characters, a lot of the language, and a lot of other choices.  Dogberry wasn’t particularly funny, even though he’s written to be.  Don Jon isn’t very menacing because everything is treated so seriously so he isn’t a foil.  Benedict and Beatrice don’t have a banter-filled romance because the banter is more catty and snide than humorous and joyful.  There are some bits I really enjoyed, generally whenever he had the actors get more physical, because otherwise they just pontificate into the wind at each other.  In the end, Whedon focused on the “Much Ado” while forgetting the point that it is all about “Nothing.”
Grade: B-

Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars! – Jason Abraham
I’ve been saving this one for a Nanarsday review, but I’m MORE than happy to talk about this HORRIBLE MOVIE now!  It is a gloriously terrible movie about a man who has sex with an alien vacuum cleaner, and it becomes a rapist and rapes a woman, who gives birth to a human-vacuum hybrid baby.  It is gross, and hilarious, and terrible.  One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen and I LOVE IT!  I found it randomly years ago, and it is a pride of my collection of films because of its ridiculous-ness.  Really, if anyone ever wanted to watch it, FIND ME and we’ll watch it that second.
Grade: F+

Chasing Amy – Jason Abraham
I have a love/hate relationship with Kevin Smith.  I either love his films and buy into them completely, or hate them and find them worthless.  Chasing Amy falls in the worthless category.  The script is preachy, the situation is so narrow that no one can relate to it, making the characters unlikable and just complainers.  Smith doesn’t direct Affleck very well here, which is crazy considering how great Affleck is in other Smith films.  It just … I just hate this movie.  Give me Dogma, Mallrats, or Clerks II any day.
Grade: C--


Dawn of the Dead; Day of the Dead; Land of the Dead – Tony Daniel
I love this little bit.  I may have never seen Night of the Living Dead, but I have absolutely seen and own all of the Romero trilogy of Dead films.  Comes with being married to a zombie lover.  Let’s touch on all of these:

Dawn of the Dead – This film is perfect.  Acting, tension, shots, characters, story, everything.  This may just be my favorite zombie movie, period.  I was blown away because what I THOUGHT this movie was and what it actually is are two VERY different things.  The effects are real old and not very good looking, but I like to see them like a time capsule of effects, and completely buy into them.  I say it all the time, but dated-ness is not a real negative, and these may not be the best effects, but they are great effects for what they are.  I cannot recommend this film more highly.  Grade: A++

Day of the Dead – I thought this would be my favorite, and I do really like it.  It is much more of what I thought it would be.  And it easily has one of the best villains a zombie film has ever had in it.  It also explores the zombie mythos more, which is very cool, and Romero continues to push the envelope with his characters.  It has better effects and is really interesting … but just not as good as Dawn.  I don’t know if I can put my finger really on why, but I think it is something to do with our protagonist, who while being interesting just isn’t as good of an actress, and the pacing of the film itself is a little off, leading to some boring stretches.  But the effects, and the other characters, are all well worth price of admission here.  Grade: B+

Land of the Dead – So Dawn of the Dead got a remake, and Romero was all “I can make a ‘modern’ zombie film better than that.”  So he continued the story of his world of zombies.  And man, I love it.  It isn’t as good as the last few, but it has some GREAT characters, some awesome world building, and while the plot is less interesting, the overall effect leaves me very happy.  I love this movie, even if it began the decline in quality of Romero’s writing.  Grade: B++

The Man Who Knew Too Little – Beth Lyons
This comedy was actually suggested to me by Beth probably a year or so ago, so I bought it, and I watched it.  I wish I had been writing reviews then, because then I wouldn’t have to think about this movie again.  Oh, yeah, that should make it obvious, I don’t like the movie.  I don’t think it is bad, I just didn’t find most of its comedy very good.  The entire idea is fine, and some of the scenes are fine, but the whole product just leaves me cold, as our protagonist has to be continually stupider and stupider to allow the very thin premise of “believes all the spy stuff is fake, accidentally gets caught in real spy stuff” to continue.  The climax of the film is just long and tedious with the whole Russian dance sequence and the bomb and … ugh.  I just did not care for the film, and really do not think it is very good, and mostly forgettable.
Grade: C--

The Bank Job – Jason Schmidt
Good ole Jason Statham.  Action star, good actor, British.  Ok, so Bank Job isn’t a GREAT movie.  It’s a real good one, though.  Based on a real heist, with some good actors and some great camera work, the film works.  I’ve seen a lot less memorable Statham films, though this one only barely jumps above that pack.  It isn’t great, but it is fun.  And if you are a history person or a heist person, this one may do even more for you.  For me, it was just a good movie.
Grade: B

Jackie Brown – Jason Schmidt
Jackie Brown is a neat little movie.  That actually sounds more belittling than I mean it to.  It has a slow first act, but not a BAD first act, just a slow one, that builds really well to an amazingly well made finish.  Lots of great actors all throughout the film, including the wonderful Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson playing the character that we all actually attribute to him in the modern zeitgeist, and Robert De Niro who may have … 8 lines in the whole movie?  But it is still one of his best roles.  I really like this movie.  It isn’t the easiest sit because of that long first act that really needed an editor, and Robert Foster is good but doesn’t quite keep me as interested for those long sections as Tarantino has found Christoph Waltz can.  But it is still a very good, very ambitious movie.
Grade: B+

State and Main – Jason Schmidt
David Mamet is a playwright, director, and a screenwriter and director.  He is known for things like Glengarry Glen Ross and American Buffalo, but he’s done a lot of other stuff.  State and Main is one of those other stuffs.  It … isn’t particularly good.  There are bits and pieces I really like in there, but there is also some stunt casting that does nothing for me and some of the comedy beats come across VERY Mamet, in that every character rushes through their dialogue as fast as they can.  The actual movie is about the filming of a movie in a little town because they like a stained glass window, and all the turmoil it causes everyone.  I don’t really think it is worth a watch, but for some people, all that fast-talking is actually a turn-on.  If you are a Aaron Sorkin fan, this may just be up your alley.
Grade: C-

Devil’s Advocate – Jason Schmidt
I love talking about good Keanu Reeves films.  Mostly because I think he is an underrated actor.  As an actor myself, I can see the actual “craft” in what he is doing, and I get why for some he doesn’t come across like he acts.  He is very stoic faced a lot of the time, and his voice is generally calm no matter the emotion.  But what Keanu does really well is expression of emotion through his eyes and his body.  There are very few actors who can pull of supreme confidence just by standing there saying nothing like Keanu can.  And there are very few that can show the deterioration of a soul like Keanu can, that slow wearing down that was necessary for this film.  Devil’s Advocate is a GREAT movie.  It is a morality play in a time period when morality was pretty gauche to begin with.  Al Pacino is fantastic in the movie as well.  It is a great film.  One I used to own, and I need to buy again.  I recommend.
Grade: A+

Man on the Moon – Jason Schmidt
The biopic on Andy Kaufman, made by dear friends of Andy Kaufman, paying homage to the man, played by the only person anyone that knew Kaufman thought could play him.  This is a great biopic.  It has great music.  It has great acting.  It has a compelling, albeit very movie-fied as admitted by the prologue of the film, story of the real life of this enigmatic actor.  I own the soundtrack.  I own the film.  I love both.  It is a shame that Jim Carrey did not get the Oscar for this performance, but of course he should have since 1999 was the year of terrible Oscar decisions and Shakespeare in Love sweeping through almost everything.  Man on the Moon was called by some the best picture of 1999, and others just didn’t get it.  Which is kind of perfect when it comes to talking about Andy Kaufman.  I highly recommend to anyone that loves comedy and the history of comedy.
Grade: A++

Mars Attacks! – Jason Schmidt
My dad took me to see this movie.  My mom didn’t like that he did.  It is a weird, silly, off-putting, crazy kind of film.  Definitely not for everyone.  It is absolutely unique, and everything I want from a Tim Burton film.  It also holds the honor of being the only live-action film based on a trading card series, which is a mindboggling piece of information by itself.  A tongue-in-cheek homage to 50s sci-fi horror films, and filled with just … craziness.  Man, I just … this is a weird movie kids.  Too weird to be good, too weird to be bad, it is its own brand of quality.
Grade: W (for weird … I actually give it a C)

The Departed – Jason Schmidt
Hey, wanna know a great movie?  The Departed.  Done.  Go watch a great movie.  What you need more?  How about its pedigree of actors and directors and cinematographers?  I’ll wait while you imdb it.  I know right?  How about the incredible filmmaking just in general?  Or the tight script?  Or the intriguing characters?  Or the amazing conceit?  Or the original that is ALSO good, but this remakes for western audiences in an old school mafia way that transcends the original?  This movie is great.  Period.  Watch it.
Grade: A+

Black Swan – Jason Schmidt
Darren Aronofsky is so so good.  And Black Swan is amazing.  Tense, thrilling, psychological, amazing acting from Natalie Portman (got an Oscar for it, well deserved), this movie is phenomenal.  The music is of course going to be great because it is Swan Lake.  But really, this movie is amazing.  It should have gotten at least a cinematography and a best director nod.  It got neither.  These kind of psychological thinky thrillers tend to not do well in the Oscars.  Aronofsky deserves awards.  And this film is one of his best, written as if tailored to his style specifically even though it wasn’t.  Watch this very very intense film some time.
Grade: A++

Waterworld – Jason Schmidt
Waterworld is one of the biggest financial flops in history.  Doesn’t make it a bad movie, though.  It makes it a great punchline, but as a fantasy movie, it is actually all kinds of AWESOME.  The setting is all practical and all amazing.  The acting is great from Dennis Hopper and even Kevin Costner.  The script is a great story filled with little nods and secrets to the what happened in the world.  The action is awesome.  I love the movie, and really don’t understand why others don’t.  Maybe because they only know the joke and never actually watched the thing.  Give it a chance.
Grade: A++

12 Monkeys – Jason Schmidt
Time travel movies are difficult, and sometimes their plots just don’t quite add up.  Other times they are too simple.  12 Monkeys is both.  Confusing and simple.  I don’t think it is a bad movie, it has some real interesting parts to it and some good acting.  But I ultimately found it boring.
Grade: B-

Four Rooms – Jason Schmidt
Four very different vignettes from four pretty different directors all based around rooms in a hotel.  Uh … I guess I’ll say this: Tim Roth is great.  Each individual sequence is so incredibly different I’ll just grade each one.
Part 1: D
Part 2: C-
Part 3: A+
Part 4: B+
So when I watch it, I just skip to the middle.  Yup.

Deathproof – Jason Schmidt
Man, I do not know how to talk about this one ... ok, lemme list the things that are good. The direction is fantastic. The movie looks and FEELS good, from a filmmaking and thematic standpoint. Kurt Russel is AMAZING as Stuntman Mike. The action and car sequences are really amazing and frenetic. A lot of the things that I love from Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained are here and this is the prototype for him directing like that. This movie is a bridge from his old style (which I generally don't care for) and his new style. There is a lot to like. But this movie SERIOUSLY needed an editor. A stronger edit would have helped this movie incredibly. And another sequence of Stuntman Mike doing what he does would have been perfect. Trim down all the standard Tarantino talky talk that didn't really do very much and give us another Stuntman Mike sequence. Tarantino learned to trim himself for Basterds and Django, making much stronger, engaging films. And that's the problem, I suppose. I really wanted to be engaged the whole time, and was really only engaged when Kurt Russel was onscreen and for the basics of the chicks. The genre subversion at the end was interesting, but for me, abrupt, and right at the end, I actually found myself rooting for Stuntman Mike because I knew more about him and understood him better, and he had less dialog than the chicks that I was supposed to be rooting for. Showing, not telling, made him a stronger, more engaging character. And they just left Mary Elizabeth Winestead with the crazy redneck! What the heck!? This movie is hard to grade. I can see myself wanting to watch it again, and I LOVED everything with Kurt Russel, but I dunno if I wanna slog through the rest.Grade: B-

High Fidelity – Jason Schmidt
One of the first “serious” comedies I’ve ever seen, it made a huge impact on me.  I am a collector and sponge for media much like John Cusack is in the film, though my own life and his represented in the film has nothing in common, and I don’t actually relate to him, but that doesn’t actually matter.  He resonates.  And his relationship struggles opened my eyes.  The film is unique, which is a huge plus.  It is a really well written and well acted film, so that’s real cool.  Honestly, though, it just didn’t stick with me like I thought it would, and I don’t care to see it again.  I don’t hate it.  I just don’t like it.  I remember how good it was, but that’s the extent of it.
Grade: A

Harvey – Cindy Carrin
The only Jimmy Stewart film I’ve seen and loved.  It is a great play, a great old movie, and just awesome all around.  A classic.  You absolutely should watch it.  Everyone.  Do it.
Grade: A+






And there we have it!  A LOT of films reviewed in a handy dandy quick way with beautiful pictures that took me way too long to format.  Thanks everyone, and I am positive I will do an exercise like this again!  Until tomorrow, where we have some newer films, a Wes Anderson film, some wrestling, and probably other stuff!

IHAO on ... Dumb and Dumber To

Grade: D


Because I refuse to not actually give a review, and even though I was able to express all my thoughts in a series of gifs, let me just say this:

The only reason this film does not fail falls on the acting talent of three actors and its inoffensive and perfectly boring camera work.  It is entirely mirthless, with zero jokes that made me laugh in theatre, only one that made me laugh at all and that was in the first time I saw the trailer, and a clear xeroxing of everything from the first one to do it again, just bigger, dumber, and louder.  Jeff Daniels at small points brings more to the script and the plot than necessary by being a good actor.  Rachel Melvin plays the supposed daughter of the guys (it is stupid and convoluted, and not worth watching or explaining) and she is fun, and attractive, so that helps.  And Kathleen Turner does a nice job and grounds the movie a little bit.

That's it.  Everything else is garbage.  This movie is garbage.  Context: Dumb and Dumber To is a worse movie than Interstellar, but Interstellar makes me angrier, so no minuses.  This movie just makes me ...

Arbitrary Numbers: Top # Episodes of Frasier

I am not a very good sleeper.  Insomnia, depression, blah blah blah, none of that personal stuff matters.  I just wanted to make you folks aware of that detail into my life as an opening for how I came about this Arbitrary Numbers.  I wasn’t old enough to watch or care about Cheers, and Frasier didn’t have the young pretty people that I was used to seeing in Friends and the like, so Frasier has always existed on the fringe of my mind, never having watched it.  Until recently.

I took a clowning class, and afterwards, was very excited.  I love clowning, especially classic duo comedy.  Perfect Strangers is a great example of that, they even have an entire clowning episode just them doing an homage to Laurel and Hardy.  My wife pointed me to an episode of Frasier that is just a six minute, no lines, clowning comedy act by David Hyde Pierce, who I’ve always liked but never really got to watch much of.  That episode was a catalyst for me to watch the entire series.  All eleven seasons.  I told ya, I don’t sleep much.  So while it took me awhile, I’ve finally finished.  And …

Ok, so talking about TV shows is hard.  It is hard to sum it up, especially a long show.  I’ve tried a few times, but never really gotten the knack of it for a long show.  So instead of talking about the show as a whole, which is very good, I’m going to just talk about my favorite episodes.  These are the episodes that stuck with me the most, because of their comedy, their storytelling, their acting, or some other reason.  They aren’t the only good episodes, far from it in fact, and I suspect that they may not be the best episodes for other people.  But they are my favorite.  So here we go, these are my …

Top 8 Episodes of Frasier (in ascending order)

Come on, give me some credit, I watched every season!

Number 8: Three Valentines

The episode that got me to want to watch Frasier, and it is one of my favorites.  Seems only fitting to put it on the list.  Really, this is only on here for the first six minutes, which are utter comedy perfection.  Niles has a date, and in an almost dialogue-less sequence of comedy, things start with a slightly off ironing line and end with an enormous fire, Niles passed out and half-naked, and the couch covered in gnocci.  It is a must watch, and for six minutes, it is well worth your time.  Hell, here, watch it now!

Number 7: Goodbye Seattle pt. 2

Frasier is a series that last a very long time.  Frasier as a character lasted even longer.  Eventually, there comes a time to finish things, and this episode does it well.  It is only the second part of a two-parter, and both parts are fine, but the emotion and acting in this episode is wonderful.  Frasier is mostly a very solid comedy about an egomaniac and a lot of miscommunication.  But when they do the emotional stuff, it always hits hard.  I very much resonated with the emotions of this show because of the great characters and writing, and watching the show end is emotional in all the right ways.  Instead of working like a live finale some sitcoms have done, they once more hit home the miscommunication aspects of the show, making all the characters think that Frasier is dying when he is merely moving.  It is a great little episode, with a fantastic framing fiction that gives a great twist to the entire series.

Number 6: Something Borrowed, Something Blue pt. 2

Another two-parter, but this one is important.  It is very important, because it is the first time that Daphne and Niles finally become a couple.  There's plenty of fantastic humor throughout as well as seven years of their relationship as will-they-won't-they status couple of the show.  These two had surprisingly good chemistry, and they slow-burned this relationship a LOT.  Almost too much, in fact, for me as a viewer.  But, I have to say, when they finally kissed, when they finally came together at Daphne's wedding that she runs from, it was an exciting, wonderful moment.

Number 5: Enemy at the Gate

A straight comedy episode, and man is it great!  There are two major plots here.  The first is about Frasier and Niles getting stuck in a parking garage because he is being forced to pay for a parking spot he did not park in, and it is infuriates him, so since the amount of time it requires to park is 20 minutes, he waits at the gate, holding everyone up, for the full twenty minutes.  That's right, this is a real-time episode, which is awesome.  Frasier many times can play like a staged theatre performance, and this one is no exception, though we also get to see them actually filming in the garage, with real people there.  Awesome arguments and banter between the brothers.  Then, in the B-plot, Roz has to do Frasier's show alone, and accidently mentions she and Frasier had sex, and spends the next twenty minutes fielding questions about it.  This episode was a delight after a small drought of really great episodes in the past few seasons.

Number 4: Daphne Returns

The actress that played Daphne, Jane Leeves, got pregnant in real life, as sometimes happens on shows.  In the story, Daphne and Niles had just started dating and being together, so they decided to run a eating disorder story that is paid off in this episode.  The actual trappings have Frasier and Niles go back through past episodes as observers, seeing the events of Niles' and Daphne's budding love.  We also learn the very very difficult conceit that Niles loves the idea of Daphne more than Daphne, and that idea must be broken from him.  This episode reminds of all the best moments of previous seasons, as well as a very very touching and realistic drama to round it out.

Number 3: Ham Radio

Frasier sometimes really does an amazing task of performing a basically stage show as a 22-minute sitcom.  This episode in particular does something that many episodes of Frasier only do a very small amount: play with the incredible ensemble supporting cast.  Gil, Bulldog, Nole, Kenny, the characters that work with Frasier and Roz are all incredible characters, and have been there since the very beginning almost.

This episode specifically deals with Frasier directing and writing a Radio Mystery that the ensemble and he put on, with all the egos flaring and ridiculous props and sound effects and acting and miming and ... it is hilarious.  One of the most hilarious episodes of Frasier, in my opinion.

Number 2: Rooms with a View

Frasier has been very good at playing up the comedy and the drama.  Mostly with Niles.  And this episode was the most heartwrenching and emotional episode of this show.  Niles has a heart attack, but doesn't realize it, and eventually is forced to go the hospital for surgery.  He very much may die, and we see our four main characters all reacting to it with him.  It is a devastating piece of acting, and beyond that we also get glimpses of the past in other rooms, where we see Niles and Frasier as children with Martin, where we see Roz's birth of Alice, and a view of the future with Niles and Daphne and their child.  I'm getting choked up thinking of it now.  Frasier is a powerful show with characters and actors you truly love, and this episode very easily could be my top episode.  And on some days, it is.  

Number 1: Ski Lodge

So why does the Ski Lodge episode take the number one slot?  Because it is the most perfect piece of comedy I have ever witnessed.  It is everything Frasier is about: relationships, miscommunication, egotism, small mistakes becoming enormous ones.  The Ski Lodge plays out like a classic farce.  Daphne, Niles, Frasier, and Martin all get to go to a ski lodge.  Daphne brings her slutty model friend, and the very attractive olympic skier stays with them.  And each person is interested in a different person in the house, with Frasier into Daphne's friend, her friend into Niles, Niles into Daphne, Daphne into the ski instructor, and the ski instructor being gay and interested in Niles.  Then you add Martin having his hearing messing up and adding more confusion, and the two incredible new characters with incredible actors who are only in this episode (which is a huge shame, as the french ski instructor is probably one of my favorite characters on the show).

This episode makes me want to perform it as a play!  It is just perfect, from top to bottom.

.:^:.                    .:^:.                    .:^:.

I love all the episodes I watched, which means all of them.  These are merely an arbitrary ranking of the eight I wanted to talk about.  There are many great characters, actors, and plot lines.  But if you don't want to jump into eleven seasons of a sitcom, I 100% suggest all of these episodes, especially the pure comedy ones.  I do not think you will be wasting your time at all.

 Also, there was a time Frasier was a Murder Clown.