IHAO on ... Interstellar

I just am not really sure how to tackle this movie review.  Not because I don't have the words, because I do, I absolutely do.  And not because I don't know what I think and feel, because I am positive about those as well.  It is because I have very little faith my words will make a difference.  Some films are just going to be seen, regardless of any critic's review, and most of those critics have a much wider audience than I do.  It seems, I don't know, futile? to talk about just how poorly made this movie is.  And yes, it is incredibly poorly made.  This is a bad movie.  How bad?


Well, that's the problem, see.  I really don't like going into spoilers, but I have to all but spoil this movie to really talk about what makes it so bad.  It is a science fiction film where the science all seems to be mumbo jumbo garbage, almost none of it makes sense, and even if it was accurate, despite a very few visuals, it comes across as completely idiotic.  The theme of the movie is one of the most cliched themes in film history; I'm talking Disney would be ashamed.  The plot is mostly a bore.  The camera work is mediocre at best, and many many shots I've seen Go Pro cameras mounted on the outside of cars driving around do it better.  The acting is fine, in fact there is only one scene I would even call good acting.  There was only about a thirty minute stretch in this 169 minute mess that was really truly enthralling, invigorating, interesting, and tense.  But then we go back to cliche-land.  The plot is at best dull and at worst completely convenient and relentlessly stupid.  The climax of the film is simple just stupid.  The costuming and timeline of the film is atrociously un-thought-out, as we are in a future, and then a further future, and then a FURTHER future, and everyone still wears regular old clothes that we wear now.  The sound mixing ... my god, the sound mixing is absolutely atrocious.  Probably 1/5 of the dialogue is completely drowned out by the score.  And the score itself just does not match with the emotion or action taking place in any given scene.

Nolan has grown bloated in his reach and power.  He reminds me of George Lucas.  I highly doubt anyone is telling him "no" any longer.  He makes visually appealing films that hit all the emotional beats you want in a movie, but as soon as the movie is over every single aspect of the movie is just riddled with terrible terrible problems.  Interstellar is like a beautiful mansion that has termites in all its beams: it looks great, is enormous in scope, but just scratch the surface a little bit and you not only see the holes, but it is impossible to keep the entire thing from falling apart.  Christopher Nolan, for all intents and purposes, made a Michael Bay film minus stupid comedy, adding stupid emotional nonsense.

Blew your mind.

This science fiction film is lacking in science.  This great cast in lacking in scene quality.  This great composer is lacking in tact and finesse.  This great director is lacking in subtlety.

The only two good things I can say about this film, at all, the sole compliments I can give Interstellar are: the editor did an excellent job, as the 169 minutes never felt long or dull - stupid, yes, eye-rollingly stupid, absolutely yes, but it did not feel long; and the visuals look for the most part good ... though in our theater, that was supposed to be showing it in IMAX quality HD, it looked like it was all in 720p or even lower quality, with a very fuzzy film grain.

I implore you, all of you reading this, DO NOT GO SEE THIS MOVIE.  It is a waste of every single cent and minute of your time.  The longer I sit and think about it, the worse and worse it gets.  It is a terrible, terrible movie.

Grade: D--

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