Because I refuse to not actually give a review, and even though I was able to express all my thoughts in a series of gifs, let me just say this:
The only reason this film does not fail falls on the acting talent of three actors and its inoffensive and perfectly boring camera work. It is entirely mirthless, with zero jokes that made me laugh in theatre, only one that made me laugh at all and that was in the first time I saw the trailer, and a clear xeroxing of everything from the first one to do it again, just bigger, dumber, and louder. Jeff Daniels at small points brings more to the script and the plot than necessary by being a good actor. Rachel Melvin plays the supposed daughter of the guys (it is stupid and convoluted, and not worth watching or explaining) and she is fun, and attractive, so that helps. And Kathleen Turner does a nice job and grounds the movie a little bit.
That's it. Everything else is garbage. This movie is garbage. Context: Dumb and Dumber To is a worse movie than Interstellar, but Interstellar makes me angrier, so no minuses. This movie just makes me ...