IHAO on ... Galavant season 1

ABC has been doing a pretty cool thing.  You see, television is changing as a medium to broadcast entertainment.  With Netflix and the increase in DVD sales, but mostly Netflix, television channels need to produce content not only more often, but more efficiently to keep the audience tuning in.  But there has been no way to improve the actual amount of time it takes to make an episode of a television show: roughly 7 days for a complicated 30 minute show and 9 or 10 days for an hour-long show.  Yeah, look at those numbers.  Simple math let's you know that they have to start airing things before they are done filming an entire season.  On top of that, human decency means that there are times when those actors, grips, props guys, producers and the like all get time off, like Christmas.  Add in scheduling conflicts and random accidents, making a television show becomes a much larger endeavor.

So, like I said, ABC has been doing a pretty cool thing.  They have been creating short-run shows, with smaller episode orders, to fill in the gaps of broadcasting when their regular shows have to take the breaks in broadcasting that are inevitable.  Agent Carter is the post-WW2 super-spy Marvel show that filled the gap of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.  But considering I just cannot get into Agents of SHIELD, I also didn't really give Agent Carter much of a thought.  But I have heard good things.  Wait, I'm getting off track.

So, as I've said a few times before, ABC has been doing that pretty cool thing.  And even cooler, their big show Once Upon a Time had to take a break, so they brought together a super talented group of people to make a short 8-episode musical comedy miniseries show, Galavant!  Hit the music!

See what I did there?

Galavant is a musical, made by everyone involved that made Disney's Tangled, except it is a tongue-in-cheek live action comedy.  It is ... pretty good.  Good enough that I wanted to talk about it with all of you folks.  The characters are all interesting, the performances are all fun, the sets are amazing, the costuming mostly great, and the story is classic.  It is one of my favorite things to talk about, actually, when it comes to how "silliness" affects narrative.  There are a few ways to do it.  There's to have a silly premise and then treat everything as seriously as you can, despite the silly, which I have really loved in One Piece.  Then there's having a serious premise, which then some silly things can happen but you stay true to your goals, which is how I like to run roleplaying games.  Then there's Galavant, which takes the piss right on the whole binary concept I just made up and goes straight down the middle.  The characters are all thought out and serious, except thy are ridiculous and silly.  The plot is a great fantasy plot, except some of the details are just ridiculous.  The musical nature of the show leads to comedic songs all the way through and meta-jokes, like asking when someone learned how to dance after a number, but then there's other moments of just straight drama.

Galavant is not going to be for everyone, mostly because it doesn't do one things straight through.  It enjoys every element it can have.  Serious songs, silly songs, important character beats, ridiculous ones, they are all mixed in.  And with that mixed bag, I would absolutely call Galavant a mixed bag.  I enjoyed quite a bit of it, and then I found myself going "meh" for bits of it.  Especially some of the songs, as they tend to always shoot for joke songs, and I really would like there to be a non-joke song every once in awhile so that I could just hear these good actors sing.

So why should you be excited for it?  Because it is a cool new way of thinking about television!  It is higher quality programming with a smaller episode order that is used as a win-win between bigger shows, but in fact is way better than the bigger show that surrounds it.  Once Upon a Time looks fake and CGI-y all the time, and the acting is so ponderous and heavy that it gets bogged down.  Galavant is able to do most of the same tropes, with better sets and costumes AND actors, with an amazing team, but it is a quarter of the length, so you can enjoy it and be done with it.  On top of that, the season finale absolutely shows that ABC is planning to give its audience even more, which is only a good thing in my book.

I would say give it a shot.  At 30 minutes and episode, and only 8 episodes, even if you don't care for a small part of it, it'll be over quickly, and you can move on to great other things.  Me, I'm excited.  Rutger Hauer, Vinnie Jones, that guy from Frankenstein's Army, two hot chicks, Magnitude, and the only good thing from Psych, all working together to make something with the guys who made Tangled, the last Disney musical.

Grade:B+

IHAO on ... Fate/Zero

Normally, I try to make sure I have watched everything I review completely at least once, many times twice, to get a strong critical opinion, as well as personal opinion of the subject.  But television shows become difficult to review because of that.  I can put three or four hours into watching a film twice, or six hours for a wrestling PPV, but even the smallest of television shows take almost twice that long for me to watch and review.  So I thought for this review I would instead give my impressions on the first five episodes, and a lengthy and personal backstory to the franchise it belongs to.  Plus, the next collection of One Piece is coming to my home the day you all can read this because Amazon pre-orders are great, and I'm just in a crazy excited anime mood.

Fate is the ... prefix? category? ... think like "Dragonball" - it is a set of entertainment stories that all take place in a shared universe.  That universe is a modern fantasy world, where mages and arcane pedigrees and ancient relics exist.  Where the Holy Grail is summoned into being every somethingorother years and is fought over by seven Masters, all who have summoned Servants, each connected to a particular class of Servant: Saber, Archer, Lancer, Assassin, Rider, Caster, and Berserker.  It is a crazy imaginative world, and Fate/Zero is a pre-sequel to the main story, Fate/Stay Night.

In college, a friend took a chance and thought I may enjoy Fate/Stay Night, a visual novel video game semi-adult entertainment ... thing.  It is like a voice-acted, slightly animated choose-your-own-adventure novel.  It was amazing.  It was mindboggling, and kept me up many evenings as I went through its massive story.  The story is so massive it requires time travel-y, alternate future shenanigans to hear it all to completion.  It got an anime I cannot wait to own and watch of its own.  The plot of Fate/Stay Night is the events of the Fifth Holy Grail War.

Fate/Zero is the events of the Fourth Holy Grail War.  And it is realized completely in one story, which is the anime I just started.  So let's talk about that anime.

The first thing to know is it is a dense show.  The entire first episode introduces you to so many characters and concepts, you almost have to know what Fate is before you start watching.  I knew bits and pieces of the story that was told to me during the events of Fate/Stay Night, and I still got lost a little first time through.  The second thing to know is that it is a beautiful animated anime.  It reminds me of Attack on Titan and DeathNote, both of which are shows with amazing animation (and a whole lot of ridiculously overblown terrible plot ... man, I need to write my thoughts on DeathNote I guess ... or just point out I have the same opinion of it as I do on Attack on Titan ... yup, I did that.  Mini-review, DeathNote gets a C+-).  It is almost on par with a Studio Ghibli production of sheer artistic skill, though it is achieved in a different way.  I ALSO really need to get more Ghibli films a chance, considering how much I love My Neighbor Totoro ... here we go, another mini-review: My Neighbor Totoro is an amazing film.  Completely amazing.  Grade: A+++

I can go on and on about the technicals of Fate/Zero.  The voice actors all do a GREAT job, with some recognizable voice talents in there like Crispin Freeman, Kari Wahlgren, Jamieson Price ... really, go look at the imdb page and just check out these actor's workloads. The animation is smooth and beautiful in all its magic and all its fantastical details and even beautiful in its mundane elements.  They do an awesome job of using 3D animation represent a lot of the magic and the backgrounds, so that every move and cut and slash and fight and stab and magical attack and effect all have actual effects on the background.  You ever notice how in cartoons, if a character was going to interact with something in the background, it would be a different color?  Yeah, that is completely mitigated here and looks really great.  Oh man, and the music!  The score is absolutely gorgeous, and I've really come to love the opening theme.

The first episode should absolutely hook most anime watchers, though it is dense.  The second episode should do even more.  And if you aren't hooked by the third, I just don't know what is wrong with you, but I suppose there is no point in pushing on, to be quite honest.  There is absolutely a barrier to the enjoyment of this anime, but by episode three Fate/Zero has established everything you need in a good way that has you invested in the story, hopefully.  But, there is a huge problem ... this is absolutely a sequel.  Yes, it takes place chronologically before Fate/Stay Night, but it assumes you understand the premise, it introduces elements that you are supposed to understand how they work quickly so it can move to new stories.  It is not an easy anime.  I like that, personally.  It was the thing that got me interested in Attack on Titan and DeathNote, and while my opinion on both of those shows soured, that comes from them lasting much too long, in my opinion (obviously).

Fate/Zero has two seasons.  Both on Netflix.  Both no more than 13 episodes.  And it finishes its story then and there.  I think it is absolutely worth any one who found anything I said interesting so far a chance to give this show.  That sentence was very poorly worded, but I'm not gonna change it.  Watch Fate/Zero.  I recommend, as a fan, and as a critic.  I cannot wait to dive in even farther to the show.

Grade: A++

Edit: I try to write these reviews ahead of time so that I can have a nice bank and keep myself up to date, just in case I get sick or busy and am unable to find time to watch things like I need to.  Well, I did get sick, with a sore throat, so I spent this entire morning before my review got posted tearing through the first season of the show.  I can say, without a single doubt, that this show is phenomenal.  I would still recommend that if you are at all interested in the Visual Novel of Fate/Stay Night to not watch Fate/Zero yet, but if you aren't interested in the enormous amount of hours to put into Stay Night then I cannot recommend Fate/Zero enough.  The fights are amazing, the animation is immaculate, and the story is intense and thrilling, all in one of the coolest anime worlds I've seen.  This is probably the second best anime I've ever watched.  It is intense, thrilling, and awesome.  I have gone ahead and added a grading because I feel much more confidant in that grade now.

IHAO on ... Slings and Arrows

I love finding obscure, cool, movies and television shows.  It is part of the reason I collect, it is part of the reason I love to host, and it is definitely a reason why I enjoy writing these reviews for this site.  I go scouring the internet for cool things all the time, hoping to find more nuggets than garbage.  And I found one.  One that isn't even that hard to find yourself, and for some of my readers I think just may be the right show for you.

Slings and Arrows is very similar to an Aaron Sorkin show.  It is a hour-long comedy-drama that tells the difficulties of the actors, producers, executive stuaff, directors, and everyone else at a Shakespeare festival in Canada, all based around the major production of that year.  The first season focuses on Hamlet, the second on Macbeth, and the third on King Lear.  Beyond that, the show itself is Shakespearean in nature as well, with Shakespearean plots and character archetypes being filled all through the show.  There's even a ghost!

Much like I praised Birdman because of its incredible way of showing the inner-workings of a production of a show, Slings and Arrows does very similar, but with more overarching themes and plots like a Sorkin show.  It is superbly acted by Paul Gross as our leading man, playing a truly mad director with a passion for theatre.  He is surrounded by incredible actors, including two of the show's creators and writers, Susan Coyne, who you may not know but will really enjoy and Mark McKinney (you probably know him from SNL and Kids in the Hall).

It is hard to talk about how good the show is.  But that's absolutely my job, so let me try.  The show's characters all care about one thing: showing truth and emotion through the words written by William Shakespeare.  And that singular care makes the show alive with emotion.  There is humor and romance and terror and tragedy and villainous schemes and heroic plans and ends just like every Shakespearean comedy, with a wedding.  With only six episodes a season, the entire collection is absolutely worth searching out if you have any love of theatre, especially a theatre's inner workings and plots.  I very much recommend the show to everyone who loves drama and just ... good shows.

((-=-))

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IHAO on ... Olive, the Other Reindeer

Nostalgia and Christmas go hand in hand.  I am perfectly happy to admit it, there are specials and movies from Christmas and my childhood that I love but are really not that good.  Chipmunk Adventure, how you spurn me with your sometimes great animation, awesome music, and mostly really terrible-ness.  And it is always crazy to me to find new nostalgia.  You know, kids films from when I was a teenager that never did anything for me, but for some people is what Christmas was for them.  Olive the Other Reindeer absolutely is that.

I totally get why this may be a loved special.  It is quirky, sometimes funny, very simple, very interesting, starring a cute dog.  Olive is a dog, but when things go poorly because of an evil mailman and Blitzen getting hurt, Santa cancels Christmas.  Olive misunderstands the radio when it talks about "all of the other reindeer" and thinks it is saying her name!  So she heads to the north pole with a penguin con artist to save Christmas.  And ... this special is ... wow, ok ... uh ...

I'm ... I'm just going to get on with it.

First, this thing is ugly.  Ugly character designs, really weird animation that baffles me.  They could have gone with cheaper flash animation or actual real animation, considering Matt Groening produced it.  It is based on a popular kids book, so that's good, but ... man, did I really not like this.  There are just some kinds of quirk that do not do well with me.  And while I like hidden adult humor in kids stuff, it really does need to be hidden, which isn't how this special treats it.

There is some crazy voice talent in this, including Drew Barrymore, Dan Castellaneta, Jos Pantoliano, Billy West, Jay Mohr, Ed Asner, Tim Meadows, Diedrich Bader, Tress MacNeille ... it is a nice long list of actors doing this one.  And they all stick out like a soar thumb.  Castellaneta has some amazing characters, but he also tends to recycle voices quite often, and the mail man is Robot Satan from Futurama which is ... actually pretty hilarious.  But not in the right way.

I dunno, this special isn't very good.  But it is also perfectly fine and enjoy incredibly enjoyable for some people.  My roommate got it for me last year, because it holds a special place for him and his childhood.  And that's kind of special.  I understand it.  I pull out Rankin and Bass' Twas the Night Before Christmas every year, and that movie is just as strange and oddly animated and ... ok, not AS oddly animated or nearly as strange ... and the music is way better ... ok so bad example, but what I'm trying to say is that while I didn't care for the special, and certainly don't think it is very good, I loved sharing a memory with him.  And THAT is why you buy movies for your collection, to share those memories and thoughts and opinions with others.  And Olive absolutely succeeded there.

Grade: D

IHAO on ... Black Mirror

In the vein of Twilight Zone and the Outer Limits, Black Mirror has a unique theme that every one of its six episodes over three seasons deals with.  If I can put this theme into my own words, Black Mirror is about the ever-expanding uses of technology, as well as a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" approach to storytelling.  Much like Twilight Zone worked towards poetic justice and Night Gallery was about gothic horror, Black Mirror tells stories about protagonists who are in lose-lose situations, all based around science fiction trappings focusing on new technologies or futures where we take technology to a new step.  The "black mirror" of the title of the show itself is a reference to a broken smart phone, which now is just that, just a black mirror.  Charlie Brooker, the series creator and writer of almost every episode, likes to call the show "techno-paranoia," which I think is a LITTLE bit of an overstatement, since paranoia does not actually factor into most episodes, in my opinion anyway.  But hey, he did make the show, and I do think it is (mostly) great, so what do I know?

The show is pretty phenomenal.  It is currently on Netflix and has been able to cover in six episodes a lot of crazy topics, though the two seasons each featured an episode on each of the following types: a political narrative, an alternate future societal story, and a single relationship changed by a new technology.  On top of that, each episode has a great budget with some fantastic actors, including Jason Fleming, Daniel Kaluuya, Rory Kinnear, Toby Kebbell, Domhnall Gleeson, and so many more, though I did list my favorites right then.

Of the six episodes, I loved the first four completely.  The last two ... they aren't bad or anything, they just personally didn't do much for me.  But the quality of the first four absolutely make up for that.  My favorite is the third episode of the first series, "The Entire History of You."  I found it amazing in a show I was already blown away by.  I really cannot wait for more.  Speaking of ...

How is Black Mirror Christmas related?  I mean, I should be reviewing Scrooge (it's coming) or some other stuff that is holiday themed, right?  Well, you see, a special Christmas episode will be coming out THIS EVENING!  It is not often I am able to talk about things that are cool, new, exciting, on Netflix, and also advertise for a brand new special, let alone a Christmas one!  Let alone a Christmas one that stars Jon Hamm!  I implore you, find some way to watch this episode on Channel 4 if you live across the pond, or see if you can watch it online if they show it there folks in America or Russia or Canada or wherever.  And watch the other episodes.  They are not easy to watch, absolutely are R in rating, and are glorious.

Oh, let me sum up with a quick grade for each episode:

The National Anthem: A++

Fifteen Million Merits: A++

The Entire History of You: A++

Be Right Back: A++

White Bear: B

The Waldo Moment: B

Arbitrary Numbers: Top # Christmas Movies (in my collection)

Holiday times are upon us!  As I run around shopping for presents and planning parties and getting ready for Christmas wrestling this weekend, I find I am running out of time to just sit and watch films, even less to head to the movie theatre.  So I though I'd look about my collection, and the holiday spirit hit me!  I have so many wonderful things I own and want to watch in time for Christmas, and I know I won't have enough time!  So I decided I'll go ahead and just do an Arbitrary Numbers so I can talk about as many as I can as soon as I could so that you all can try to find them and add them to your shopping carts and get them just in time for the Holidays!  So let's begin this special Christmas task!

The Top 7 Christmas Movies 

(in my collection)

((that I feel like talking about))

Twas the Night Before Christmas

I really love Rankin and Bass cartoons.  Their claymation stuff gets a lot of attention, but their cartoons are especially ... special for me.  The Hobbit, the Last Unicorn, these were for me the first forays into my favorite genre, just as I was reading the Hobbit and the Belgariad and the Dragonlance books.  The Rankin and Bass Christmas stuff is probably even more well known, but I want to talk about my favorite one, which like I said, is animated.

Twas the Night Before Christmas is a fun musical addition to the poem, talking about a clockmaker trying to help the town but everything gets screwed up because of the mice in his house, who are anthropomorphic (big plus for my viewing as a kid).  The entire special, which is not long, ends with the poem itself.  I love this little thing, and am so happy to have it in my collection.  It isn't perfect, it's short, and the animation is probably too off-putting or "ugly" for some I suspect.  But like I said, I love it.

Grade: B++

It is very sad to know that Arthur Rankin Jr. had passed away this January.  I didn't even hear about it until recently.  Thank you very much for this little special, and so many others that touched my heart, as well as basically everyone else's.  RIP.

Ernest Saves Christmas

I talked about this in my machine gun style review RIGHT HERE.  Go check that out, because this is great.

Grade: B++

Mickey's Christmas Carol and The Muppet Christmas Carol

I bunched these two together because they are my favorite Christmas Carols on film!  These are filled with music and characters and wonder.  But they also do not miss the tone of the book, the ghost story and morality story.  You see Mickey cry for goodness sakes!  I love them both and watch them both every year.

I should also point out that I have the blu-ray of Mickey's and the DVD of Muppet.  Why?  Well the new blu-ray of Mickey's has a bunch of other winter and Christmas specials that make the whole thing a wonderful collection piece to own, only missing one Donald Duck short I remember from my childhood that I wish I had, which is hardly a knock for all the other things it adds.  But why didn't I upgrade Muppet Christmas Carol?  Because the blu-ray is missing a song!  A beautiful song sung by Michael Caine and Scrooge's lost love.  It is amazing and heartwrenching and beautiful and necessary in my eyes for the story.  You see, it isn't in widescreen, so the blu-ray just didn't include it.  But it is in fullscreen, which I can watch with an option on my DVD.  So there you go!  I'm sure you were all curious.

Grade: A+++ for both

Rare Exports

Wanna watch a weird quirky adventure film about Christmas and demons and hunting and little boys and Norway?  Rare Exports is a beautiful film.  It is a touching film.  And it is an exciting film!  Most people talk about Die Hard when they need a Christmas action movie, or Gremlins for a Christmas fun comedy horror.  But both of those films are really only kind of Christmas-y.  Rare Exports hits all the buttons those two films do, but it is all so much more about Christmas.  Rare Exports should not replace either, but it should sit beside them!

Included on the blu-ray are the two original shorts that brought the full film into being.  Both shorts are great, with the second being my absolute favorite, and are both a little more tongue-in-cheek and crazy.  As an entire package, it has become a yearly tradition, and I love sharing it with people.  So I'm sharing it with you.  See it!  Find it!  Do it!!

Grade: A++

Christmas Eve on Sesame Street

I feel like I talk about this special all the time.  There are actually two versions of the Sesame Street special for Christmas that came out at the same time.  THIS one is perfect.  The other one is garbage.  This one is about a sweet story of Big Bird worried that Santa can't fit down the chimneys, it is filled with wonder, it is filled with amazing music and great jokes, it has Bert and Ernie being ridiculous and doing the Gift of the Magi, it has Oscar singing a song about hating Christmas, it has the most amazing pratt fall sequence just ... at ALL.  *sigh*

I love this little special.  Even better, it is on DVD, and I'm pretty sure it can be found at Best Buys just around.  So take a look!  You will not regret it.

Grade: A++

Now, I could talk about a lot more movies and specials I own that mean something to me and I love watching, like Jingle all the Way or National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation or Reindeer Games, which are all great and different for a bunch of reasons.  And who knows, I may just write reviews for them anyway later on this month.  But I really want to talk about a cool documentary I bought for my wife as a gift instead to close this little article out ...

I am Santa Claus

In this documentary, we follow five men, all "real beard Santas."  We see their life struggles, their regular world life, and we even get to see one man's quest to be a good Santa.  That man is Mick Foley, Hardcore Legend.  This documentary is not for families.  It is very adult.  And it is very touching.  

We watch four men, all vastly different, talk about what it means to be Santa Claus to them, all of them from different parts of the country, all from different walks of life, and all of them real people.  This isn't a "happy endings" kind of documentary.  This followed all of these guys for one year and cuts between and juxtaposes them as the film goes along.  You are allowed into their lives and get to see their hardships, their delights, just ... life.  It was a great documentary, and really touching as well as sad and poignant.  I cannot recommend it enough, and I am NOT a documentary person.

Grade: A+

There we go!  Now, I gotta go wrap more presents and other stuff.  Oh, did I tell you, I'm hosting a Dirty Santa party?  Do you wanna know what that is?  Well you are in luck, because I will be explaining it entirely and showing pictures of our game and party in ONE WEEK, on the 18th, which is one week before Christmas!  See ya then for that!  Also look forward to lots more Christmas reviews, wrestling reviews this Friday and on Monday, and a lot of great End of Year reviews!  Buh-bye!

IHAO on ... a bunch of movies!! - 26 Reviews

Hello everyone! 

Time is an enemy to everyone who is trying to do anything important.  Or at least time-sensitive.   I love being able to write reviews for everyone about everything, current, old, wrestling, television, just on everything, as well as writing all the sillier or more intricate reviews, like the Arbitrary Numbers and the Fantasy Bookings.  But that leaves very little time for me to be able to actually cover everything.  I can’t put out two reviews a day, because that is too much to ask you folks to read.  And I only put out 5 a week, but every week there is probably on average one new film or wrestling event to writing about, and that takes a slot.  Then there are weeks with many films, like I’ve had recently and will be moving into with Oscar season continuing.

So I came up with an idea.  I asked my facebook to give me a list of movies that they did not think I had seen.  I absorb entertainment and media like a sponge, and have watched a LOT of movies.  This way I can give shorter reviews on a bunch of things people might not think I’ve seen, as well as have a fun bank of things to come back to when I need inspiration.  In the nice long list of films, I probably saw a fifth of them, which is a great number.  So I’m going to review all 26 of the movies that were suggested that I have seen.  This will be a rapid fire barrage of reviews.  Let’s get going!

 Dinosaurs! – Nicole Clockel
An edu-tainment Claymation-y fun short about dinosaur life.  I remember specifically sitting with my best friend at the time, Karl, when we were 7 or 8 at his house, and between playing TMNT SNES games or with figures or running around outside, we watched this little video.  I’ve seen it since then as well, but it is a silly thing to talk about.  It is purposefully silly, and all kinds of weird, but really enjoyable.  It is on youtube, and I’ll linky it here.  I definitely think it is worth your time, because of nostalgia for some of you and just for fun in general.  It isn’t great by any means, but it is fun.
Grade: C+



Rat Race – Lenton Lees 
The semi-rebooting, more “another version” of It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World, Rat Race features an incredible cast, and is a big ole chase/race comedy.  It is hilarious, has some heart, and some awesome music.  It is probably one of the best comedies to introduce people to a bunch of great comedians all at once, including Mr. Bean, Seth Green, Whoopi Goldberg, John Cleese, Breckin Mayer, Amy Smart, and Jon Lovitz.  Really enjoyable, though it doesn’t quite shoot that extra mile.  It sits in a nice comfortable zone that most good comedies do, where it is real good, but the actual film never tries to be any greater than that.  Highly recommend.
Grade: B++

The Longest Yard – Lenton Lees
Wrestlers!  Sandler the last time he was funny!  Except there’s sequences of it totally not being funny, too, because Sandler has to always ALWAYS write his characters as having enormous penises or getting the hottest women in the world.  But that’s fine, because that has very little actual impact on the movie.  This is probably one of my favorite sports films I’ve seen.  It actually goes that extra mile in film quality and technique, as well as just having incredible actors in Burt Reynolds, William Fichtner, Terry Crews, and a slew of awesome wrestler … not “cameos” as everyone’s screentime and character weight is larger than that.  It is an incredibly fun sports movie with a moving story, it is really funny, and even though it blatantly steals an entire scene from the British remake of the Longest Yard, Mean Machine, it is still a really fun movie that is also really good.  Probably my favorite Sandler film, and easily the one I think that is his best film.
Grade: A++

Ernest Saves Christmas – Lenton Lees
Here’s the thing about Ernest: you either love Jim Varney’s shenanigans, or you just don’t get it or see a point.  I personally find Ernest endearing.  In fact, this is the first Ernest film I saw, which is good, because it is also easily his highest budgeted, best looking, best acted, best directed, BEST Ernest film.  It tells a great story, has fun comedy, and is a Christmas classic in the Jessel household.  On top of that, I do believe it has my absolute favorite Santa Claus in film, played by the same dude who is the Sultan and Jasmine’s father in Aladdin!  He is perfect as Santa, and adds some amazing gravitas to what could have just been a frivolous and silly kids movie.  It isn’t one of the best movies ever made, and the effects are absolutely dated, but it is a wonderful movie.
Grade: B++

South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut – Lenton Lees
Trey Parker and Matt Stone have made all of two things I like: South Park and Book of Mormon.  I do not like BASEketball, I don’t like Cannibal: the Musical, I don’t like Orgazmo.  But this movie is excellent.  It is an amazingly well made musical parody of just about every single style of musical, from Les Mis to Disney to Sound of Music.  The story itself has a purpose to exist as a film because it is about censorship, parental choices, and really nice satire of the “crusade” against cursing.  I really think this movie does everything right.  And its unique animation style makes it in a sense timeless, which is great!  Great movie.
Grade: A+

Much Ado About Nothing (Whedon version) – Lenton Lees
Not every movie that is a good movie I like.  Wes Anderson movies prove that.  As does this one.  One of the best things about Shakespeare is that every adaptation is 100% the director’s intention.  And some of Joss’ choices are awesome.  And some are not.  I think Whedon was able to really elevate the parts of Claudio and Don Pedro fantastically, making both parts have a lot more weight and interest than most versions of the show.  He also made some very good comedic choices early in the film.  But very quickly, the comedy of this comedy goes away.  And that’s … just … wrong.  Much Ado About Nothing is a comedy, pure and simple.  And Whedon treated it as a drama.  And that is a disservice to a lot of the characters, a lot of the language, and a lot of other choices.  Dogberry wasn’t particularly funny, even though he’s written to be.  Don Jon isn’t very menacing because everything is treated so seriously so he isn’t a foil.  Benedict and Beatrice don’t have a banter-filled romance because the banter is more catty and snide than humorous and joyful.  There are some bits I really enjoyed, generally whenever he had the actors get more physical, because otherwise they just pontificate into the wind at each other.  In the end, Whedon focused on the “Much Ado” while forgetting the point that it is all about “Nothing.”
Grade: B-

Oversexed Rugsuckers From Mars! – Jason Abraham
I’ve been saving this one for a Nanarsday review, but I’m MORE than happy to talk about this HORRIBLE MOVIE now!  It is a gloriously terrible movie about a man who has sex with an alien vacuum cleaner, and it becomes a rapist and rapes a woman, who gives birth to a human-vacuum hybrid baby.  It is gross, and hilarious, and terrible.  One of the worst movies I’ve ever seen and I LOVE IT!  I found it randomly years ago, and it is a pride of my collection of films because of its ridiculous-ness.  Really, if anyone ever wanted to watch it, FIND ME and we’ll watch it that second.
Grade: F+

Chasing Amy – Jason Abraham
I have a love/hate relationship with Kevin Smith.  I either love his films and buy into them completely, or hate them and find them worthless.  Chasing Amy falls in the worthless category.  The script is preachy, the situation is so narrow that no one can relate to it, making the characters unlikable and just complainers.  Smith doesn’t direct Affleck very well here, which is crazy considering how great Affleck is in other Smith films.  It just … I just hate this movie.  Give me Dogma, Mallrats, or Clerks II any day.
Grade: C--


Dawn of the Dead; Day of the Dead; Land of the Dead – Tony Daniel
I love this little bit.  I may have never seen Night of the Living Dead, but I have absolutely seen and own all of the Romero trilogy of Dead films.  Comes with being married to a zombie lover.  Let’s touch on all of these:

Dawn of the Dead – This film is perfect.  Acting, tension, shots, characters, story, everything.  This may just be my favorite zombie movie, period.  I was blown away because what I THOUGHT this movie was and what it actually is are two VERY different things.  The effects are real old and not very good looking, but I like to see them like a time capsule of effects, and completely buy into them.  I say it all the time, but dated-ness is not a real negative, and these may not be the best effects, but they are great effects for what they are.  I cannot recommend this film more highly.  Grade: A++

Day of the Dead – I thought this would be my favorite, and I do really like it.  It is much more of what I thought it would be.  And it easily has one of the best villains a zombie film has ever had in it.  It also explores the zombie mythos more, which is very cool, and Romero continues to push the envelope with his characters.  It has better effects and is really interesting … but just not as good as Dawn.  I don’t know if I can put my finger really on why, but I think it is something to do with our protagonist, who while being interesting just isn’t as good of an actress, and the pacing of the film itself is a little off, leading to some boring stretches.  But the effects, and the other characters, are all well worth price of admission here.  Grade: B+

Land of the Dead – So Dawn of the Dead got a remake, and Romero was all “I can make a ‘modern’ zombie film better than that.”  So he continued the story of his world of zombies.  And man, I love it.  It isn’t as good as the last few, but it has some GREAT characters, some awesome world building, and while the plot is less interesting, the overall effect leaves me very happy.  I love this movie, even if it began the decline in quality of Romero’s writing.  Grade: B++

The Man Who Knew Too Little – Beth Lyons
This comedy was actually suggested to me by Beth probably a year or so ago, so I bought it, and I watched it.  I wish I had been writing reviews then, because then I wouldn’t have to think about this movie again.  Oh, yeah, that should make it obvious, I don’t like the movie.  I don’t think it is bad, I just didn’t find most of its comedy very good.  The entire idea is fine, and some of the scenes are fine, but the whole product just leaves me cold, as our protagonist has to be continually stupider and stupider to allow the very thin premise of “believes all the spy stuff is fake, accidentally gets caught in real spy stuff” to continue.  The climax of the film is just long and tedious with the whole Russian dance sequence and the bomb and … ugh.  I just did not care for the film, and really do not think it is very good, and mostly forgettable.
Grade: C--

The Bank Job – Jason Schmidt
Good ole Jason Statham.  Action star, good actor, British.  Ok, so Bank Job isn’t a GREAT movie.  It’s a real good one, though.  Based on a real heist, with some good actors and some great camera work, the film works.  I’ve seen a lot less memorable Statham films, though this one only barely jumps above that pack.  It isn’t great, but it is fun.  And if you are a history person or a heist person, this one may do even more for you.  For me, it was just a good movie.
Grade: B

Jackie Brown – Jason Schmidt
Jackie Brown is a neat little movie.  That actually sounds more belittling than I mean it to.  It has a slow first act, but not a BAD first act, just a slow one, that builds really well to an amazingly well made finish.  Lots of great actors all throughout the film, including the wonderful Pam Grier, Samuel L. Jackson playing the character that we all actually attribute to him in the modern zeitgeist, and Robert De Niro who may have … 8 lines in the whole movie?  But it is still one of his best roles.  I really like this movie.  It isn’t the easiest sit because of that long first act that really needed an editor, and Robert Foster is good but doesn’t quite keep me as interested for those long sections as Tarantino has found Christoph Waltz can.  But it is still a very good, very ambitious movie.
Grade: B+

State and Main – Jason Schmidt
David Mamet is a playwright, director, and a screenwriter and director.  He is known for things like Glengarry Glen Ross and American Buffalo, but he’s done a lot of other stuff.  State and Main is one of those other stuffs.  It … isn’t particularly good.  There are bits and pieces I really like in there, but there is also some stunt casting that does nothing for me and some of the comedy beats come across VERY Mamet, in that every character rushes through their dialogue as fast as they can.  The actual movie is about the filming of a movie in a little town because they like a stained glass window, and all the turmoil it causes everyone.  I don’t really think it is worth a watch, but for some people, all that fast-talking is actually a turn-on.  If you are a Aaron Sorkin fan, this may just be up your alley.
Grade: C-

Devil’s Advocate – Jason Schmidt
I love talking about good Keanu Reeves films.  Mostly because I think he is an underrated actor.  As an actor myself, I can see the actual “craft” in what he is doing, and I get why for some he doesn’t come across like he acts.  He is very stoic faced a lot of the time, and his voice is generally calm no matter the emotion.  But what Keanu does really well is expression of emotion through his eyes and his body.  There are very few actors who can pull of supreme confidence just by standing there saying nothing like Keanu can.  And there are very few that can show the deterioration of a soul like Keanu can, that slow wearing down that was necessary for this film.  Devil’s Advocate is a GREAT movie.  It is a morality play in a time period when morality was pretty gauche to begin with.  Al Pacino is fantastic in the movie as well.  It is a great film.  One I used to own, and I need to buy again.  I recommend.
Grade: A+

Man on the Moon – Jason Schmidt
The biopic on Andy Kaufman, made by dear friends of Andy Kaufman, paying homage to the man, played by the only person anyone that knew Kaufman thought could play him.  This is a great biopic.  It has great music.  It has great acting.  It has a compelling, albeit very movie-fied as admitted by the prologue of the film, story of the real life of this enigmatic actor.  I own the soundtrack.  I own the film.  I love both.  It is a shame that Jim Carrey did not get the Oscar for this performance, but of course he should have since 1999 was the year of terrible Oscar decisions and Shakespeare in Love sweeping through almost everything.  Man on the Moon was called by some the best picture of 1999, and others just didn’t get it.  Which is kind of perfect when it comes to talking about Andy Kaufman.  I highly recommend to anyone that loves comedy and the history of comedy.
Grade: A++

Mars Attacks! – Jason Schmidt
My dad took me to see this movie.  My mom didn’t like that he did.  It is a weird, silly, off-putting, crazy kind of film.  Definitely not for everyone.  It is absolutely unique, and everything I want from a Tim Burton film.  It also holds the honor of being the only live-action film based on a trading card series, which is a mindboggling piece of information by itself.  A tongue-in-cheek homage to 50s sci-fi horror films, and filled with just … craziness.  Man, I just … this is a weird movie kids.  Too weird to be good, too weird to be bad, it is its own brand of quality.
Grade: W (for weird … I actually give it a C)

The Departed – Jason Schmidt
Hey, wanna know a great movie?  The Departed.  Done.  Go watch a great movie.  What you need more?  How about its pedigree of actors and directors and cinematographers?  I’ll wait while you imdb it.  I know right?  How about the incredible filmmaking just in general?  Or the tight script?  Or the intriguing characters?  Or the amazing conceit?  Or the original that is ALSO good, but this remakes for western audiences in an old school mafia way that transcends the original?  This movie is great.  Period.  Watch it.
Grade: A+

Black Swan – Jason Schmidt
Darren Aronofsky is so so good.  And Black Swan is amazing.  Tense, thrilling, psychological, amazing acting from Natalie Portman (got an Oscar for it, well deserved), this movie is phenomenal.  The music is of course going to be great because it is Swan Lake.  But really, this movie is amazing.  It should have gotten at least a cinematography and a best director nod.  It got neither.  These kind of psychological thinky thrillers tend to not do well in the Oscars.  Aronofsky deserves awards.  And this film is one of his best, written as if tailored to his style specifically even though it wasn’t.  Watch this very very intense film some time.
Grade: A++

Waterworld – Jason Schmidt
Waterworld is one of the biggest financial flops in history.  Doesn’t make it a bad movie, though.  It makes it a great punchline, but as a fantasy movie, it is actually all kinds of AWESOME.  The setting is all practical and all amazing.  The acting is great from Dennis Hopper and even Kevin Costner.  The script is a great story filled with little nods and secrets to the what happened in the world.  The action is awesome.  I love the movie, and really don’t understand why others don’t.  Maybe because they only know the joke and never actually watched the thing.  Give it a chance.
Grade: A++

12 Monkeys – Jason Schmidt
Time travel movies are difficult, and sometimes their plots just don’t quite add up.  Other times they are too simple.  12 Monkeys is both.  Confusing and simple.  I don’t think it is a bad movie, it has some real interesting parts to it and some good acting.  But I ultimately found it boring.
Grade: B-

Four Rooms – Jason Schmidt
Four very different vignettes from four pretty different directors all based around rooms in a hotel.  Uh … I guess I’ll say this: Tim Roth is great.  Each individual sequence is so incredibly different I’ll just grade each one.
Part 1: D
Part 2: C-
Part 3: A+
Part 4: B+
So when I watch it, I just skip to the middle.  Yup.

Deathproof – Jason Schmidt
Man, I do not know how to talk about this one ... ok, lemme list the things that are good. The direction is fantastic. The movie looks and FEELS good, from a filmmaking and thematic standpoint. Kurt Russel is AMAZING as Stuntman Mike. The action and car sequences are really amazing and frenetic. A lot of the things that I love from Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained are here and this is the prototype for him directing like that. This movie is a bridge from his old style (which I generally don't care for) and his new style. There is a lot to like. But this movie SERIOUSLY needed an editor. A stronger edit would have helped this movie incredibly. And another sequence of Stuntman Mike doing what he does would have been perfect. Trim down all the standard Tarantino talky talk that didn't really do very much and give us another Stuntman Mike sequence. Tarantino learned to trim himself for Basterds and Django, making much stronger, engaging films. And that's the problem, I suppose. I really wanted to be engaged the whole time, and was really only engaged when Kurt Russel was onscreen and for the basics of the chicks. The genre subversion at the end was interesting, but for me, abrupt, and right at the end, I actually found myself rooting for Stuntman Mike because I knew more about him and understood him better, and he had less dialog than the chicks that I was supposed to be rooting for. Showing, not telling, made him a stronger, more engaging character. And they just left Mary Elizabeth Winestead with the crazy redneck! What the heck!? This movie is hard to grade. I can see myself wanting to watch it again, and I LOVED everything with Kurt Russel, but I dunno if I wanna slog through the rest.Grade: B-

High Fidelity – Jason Schmidt
One of the first “serious” comedies I’ve ever seen, it made a huge impact on me.  I am a collector and sponge for media much like John Cusack is in the film, though my own life and his represented in the film has nothing in common, and I don’t actually relate to him, but that doesn’t actually matter.  He resonates.  And his relationship struggles opened my eyes.  The film is unique, which is a huge plus.  It is a really well written and well acted film, so that’s real cool.  Honestly, though, it just didn’t stick with me like I thought it would, and I don’t care to see it again.  I don’t hate it.  I just don’t like it.  I remember how good it was, but that’s the extent of it.
Grade: A

Harvey – Cindy Carrin
The only Jimmy Stewart film I’ve seen and loved.  It is a great play, a great old movie, and just awesome all around.  A classic.  You absolutely should watch it.  Everyone.  Do it.
Grade: A+






And there we have it!  A LOT of films reviewed in a handy dandy quick way with beautiful pictures that took me way too long to format.  Thanks everyone, and I am positive I will do an exercise like this again!  Until tomorrow, where we have some newer films, a Wes Anderson film, some wrestling, and probably other stuff!

IHAO on ... House of Cards

Binge watching and Netflix-ing helps my insomnia.  I recently talked about going through all of Frasier.  I watched all of Wings after that.  No, that one isn't worth talking about.  It is a fine sitcom, and that's the end.  Next ... well, I tried Coach, because the sitcom train hadn't gone badly.  I did not last long in Coach.  If I go back, I'll just skip the first season entirely.  House of Cards had been sitting on my "To Watch List" for awhile, so I decided to go ahead and start watching it.

Three days later, I finish.

This show is super duper good.

End review.  Roll credits.

It is not often that a show this high in quality comes along.  It is filmed like a movie, it has great actors, and its plots are superb.  Even the simply episodic episodes feel like they have purpose and meaning, and are my favorites of both seasons.

A quick rundown of the show: Francis Underwood is a politician screwed one too many times as he tries to move up the political ladder.  So with good old fashioned politics, intrigue, blackmail, extortion, charm, threats, and greasing the wheels in even more unscrupulous ways, Frank tries to make his way to the top.  His wife, a charity head and lobbyist, is also working on her own schemes.  And journalists are also working their way in.

The show is dense, rewarding, with incredible ... everything, really.  The mystique of why Francis turns to the camera to give us little asides is wonderful, and used many different ways to great effect.  Kevin Spacey, who I normally don't care much about, is able to do what he loves best: completely dissolve into his character.  But since this is a show instead of a film, he is given so much more to work with, and can do so much.  Kevin Spacey deserves and Oscar for Best Actor for this television show.  That is the level of quality on this show, and he deserves every award.

If you have Netflix, you are doing yourself a disservice to not watch House of Cards.

Grade: A++

Arbitrary Numbers: Top # Episodes of Frasier

I am not a very good sleeper.  Insomnia, depression, blah blah blah, none of that personal stuff matters.  I just wanted to make you folks aware of that detail into my life as an opening for how I came about this Arbitrary Numbers.  I wasn’t old enough to watch or care about Cheers, and Frasier didn’t have the young pretty people that I was used to seeing in Friends and the like, so Frasier has always existed on the fringe of my mind, never having watched it.  Until recently.

I took a clowning class, and afterwards, was very excited.  I love clowning, especially classic duo comedy.  Perfect Strangers is a great example of that, they even have an entire clowning episode just them doing an homage to Laurel and Hardy.  My wife pointed me to an episode of Frasier that is just a six minute, no lines, clowning comedy act by David Hyde Pierce, who I’ve always liked but never really got to watch much of.  That episode was a catalyst for me to watch the entire series.  All eleven seasons.  I told ya, I don’t sleep much.  So while it took me awhile, I’ve finally finished.  And …

Ok, so talking about TV shows is hard.  It is hard to sum it up, especially a long show.  I’ve tried a few times, but never really gotten the knack of it for a long show.  So instead of talking about the show as a whole, which is very good, I’m going to just talk about my favorite episodes.  These are the episodes that stuck with me the most, because of their comedy, their storytelling, their acting, or some other reason.  They aren’t the only good episodes, far from it in fact, and I suspect that they may not be the best episodes for other people.  But they are my favorite.  So here we go, these are my …

Top 8 Episodes of Frasier (in ascending order)

Come on, give me some credit, I watched every season!

Number 8: Three Valentines

The episode that got me to want to watch Frasier, and it is one of my favorites.  Seems only fitting to put it on the list.  Really, this is only on here for the first six minutes, which are utter comedy perfection.  Niles has a date, and in an almost dialogue-less sequence of comedy, things start with a slightly off ironing line and end with an enormous fire, Niles passed out and half-naked, and the couch covered in gnocci.  It is a must watch, and for six minutes, it is well worth your time.  Hell, here, watch it now!

Number 7: Goodbye Seattle pt. 2

Frasier is a series that last a very long time.  Frasier as a character lasted even longer.  Eventually, there comes a time to finish things, and this episode does it well.  It is only the second part of a two-parter, and both parts are fine, but the emotion and acting in this episode is wonderful.  Frasier is mostly a very solid comedy about an egomaniac and a lot of miscommunication.  But when they do the emotional stuff, it always hits hard.  I very much resonated with the emotions of this show because of the great characters and writing, and watching the show end is emotional in all the right ways.  Instead of working like a live finale some sitcoms have done, they once more hit home the miscommunication aspects of the show, making all the characters think that Frasier is dying when he is merely moving.  It is a great little episode, with a fantastic framing fiction that gives a great twist to the entire series.

Number 6: Something Borrowed, Something Blue pt. 2

Another two-parter, but this one is important.  It is very important, because it is the first time that Daphne and Niles finally become a couple.  There's plenty of fantastic humor throughout as well as seven years of their relationship as will-they-won't-they status couple of the show.  These two had surprisingly good chemistry, and they slow-burned this relationship a LOT.  Almost too much, in fact, for me as a viewer.  But, I have to say, when they finally kissed, when they finally came together at Daphne's wedding that she runs from, it was an exciting, wonderful moment.

Number 5: Enemy at the Gate

A straight comedy episode, and man is it great!  There are two major plots here.  The first is about Frasier and Niles getting stuck in a parking garage because he is being forced to pay for a parking spot he did not park in, and it is infuriates him, so since the amount of time it requires to park is 20 minutes, he waits at the gate, holding everyone up, for the full twenty minutes.  That's right, this is a real-time episode, which is awesome.  Frasier many times can play like a staged theatre performance, and this one is no exception, though we also get to see them actually filming in the garage, with real people there.  Awesome arguments and banter between the brothers.  Then, in the B-plot, Roz has to do Frasier's show alone, and accidently mentions she and Frasier had sex, and spends the next twenty minutes fielding questions about it.  This episode was a delight after a small drought of really great episodes in the past few seasons.

Number 4: Daphne Returns

The actress that played Daphne, Jane Leeves, got pregnant in real life, as sometimes happens on shows.  In the story, Daphne and Niles had just started dating and being together, so they decided to run a eating disorder story that is paid off in this episode.  The actual trappings have Frasier and Niles go back through past episodes as observers, seeing the events of Niles' and Daphne's budding love.  We also learn the very very difficult conceit that Niles loves the idea of Daphne more than Daphne, and that idea must be broken from him.  This episode reminds of all the best moments of previous seasons, as well as a very very touching and realistic drama to round it out.

Number 3: Ham Radio

Frasier sometimes really does an amazing task of performing a basically stage show as a 22-minute sitcom.  This episode in particular does something that many episodes of Frasier only do a very small amount: play with the incredible ensemble supporting cast.  Gil, Bulldog, Nole, Kenny, the characters that work with Frasier and Roz are all incredible characters, and have been there since the very beginning almost.

This episode specifically deals with Frasier directing and writing a Radio Mystery that the ensemble and he put on, with all the egos flaring and ridiculous props and sound effects and acting and miming and ... it is hilarious.  One of the most hilarious episodes of Frasier, in my opinion.

Number 2: Rooms with a View

Frasier has been very good at playing up the comedy and the drama.  Mostly with Niles.  And this episode was the most heartwrenching and emotional episode of this show.  Niles has a heart attack, but doesn't realize it, and eventually is forced to go the hospital for surgery.  He very much may die, and we see our four main characters all reacting to it with him.  It is a devastating piece of acting, and beyond that we also get glimpses of the past in other rooms, where we see Niles and Frasier as children with Martin, where we see Roz's birth of Alice, and a view of the future with Niles and Daphne and their child.  I'm getting choked up thinking of it now.  Frasier is a powerful show with characters and actors you truly love, and this episode very easily could be my top episode.  And on some days, it is.  

Number 1: Ski Lodge

So why does the Ski Lodge episode take the number one slot?  Because it is the most perfect piece of comedy I have ever witnessed.  It is everything Frasier is about: relationships, miscommunication, egotism, small mistakes becoming enormous ones.  The Ski Lodge plays out like a classic farce.  Daphne, Niles, Frasier, and Martin all get to go to a ski lodge.  Daphne brings her slutty model friend, and the very attractive olympic skier stays with them.  And each person is interested in a different person in the house, with Frasier into Daphne's friend, her friend into Niles, Niles into Daphne, Daphne into the ski instructor, and the ski instructor being gay and interested in Niles.  Then you add Martin having his hearing messing up and adding more confusion, and the two incredible new characters with incredible actors who are only in this episode (which is a huge shame, as the french ski instructor is probably one of my favorite characters on the show).

This episode makes me want to perform it as a play!  It is just perfect, from top to bottom.

.:^:.                    .:^:.                    .:^:.

I love all the episodes I watched, which means all of them.  These are merely an arbitrary ranking of the eight I wanted to talk about.  There are many great characters, actors, and plot lines.  But if you don't want to jump into eleven seasons of a sitcom, I 100% suggest all of these episodes, especially the pure comedy ones.  I do not think you will be wasting your time at all.

 Also, there was a time Frasier was a Murder Clown.