IHAO on ... Attack on Titan

Grade: C+-

*inner monologue*

I knew going in that I was watching something unique.  How could it not be?  Anime in itself is harder to write about, as it doesn't flow like a regular show.  It has its own way of telling a story.  But how could I have known back then what I knew now ...

~~flashback to the beginning of this review~~

So everyone is talking about Attack on Titan.  The first (only?) episodes are on Netflix so I suppose I should go ahead and watch.  As the man with an opinion, I really should share mine on this show.  And now that I've finished it ...

~~flashback to my thoughts on episode 16ish~~

This is utter garbage!  This doesn't make any sense!  These characters motivations are terrible.  You cannot run an army by not telling anyone anything.  You cannot survive in this world by just letting these Titans you can easily kill now that you know how and have the skills to do so and the skillful Scouts like Mikasa and Renier to do so, you cannot just let them wander about clawing at the trees.  And NO, believing in yourself OR believing in your friends ... that is not a dichotomy!  That is not two sides of the same coin, you can do both at the same time, Eren!

~~flashback to my thoughts on episode 1~~

What an intriguing premise.  The action and adventure aspects are incredible, and the debates on how to proceed come across as surprisingly human.  The mystery with the key and the basement are awesome, and the strange variant Titans ... I'm very intrigued with what I'm watching.  The show is beautiful, with amazing music, and as long as they don't screw things up, I bet this show will live up to the hype I've been hearing ...

~~back to the now, after finishing the last episode~~

What a garbage show with a cool premise.  The action and adventure aspects are incredible, but the debates on how to proceed come across as rehashed and just keep happening over and over and over.  The mystery with the key and the basement are STUPID because our characters refuse to even try to do anything about it and instead spend a whole bunch of downtime doing other garbage.  And the strange variant human Titans ... ok, that reveal is cool, and I have my own theories about who the other two are ... I'm very intrigued with what I'm watching, even if it makes me super pissed hearing them talk.  Just don't talk, the dialogue is atrocious.  The show is beautiful, with amazing music, and as long as they don't talk, this show is really good.

 But ... they talk ... all the time.  And it is terrible.  And WHY CAN THEY NOT JUST SHOW THE STORY LINEARLY?!  You gain nothing by doing this non-linear approach ... me, being satirical in this review.  You jump ahead to something interesting, then just as things get cool, hit the brakes and go backwards to watch Eren try really hard to pick up a frickin' spoon!  JUST TELL THE STORIES IN CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER!!!

I think this show could have been amazing ... and it just isn't.  But I like it ... but I HATES it.

I know, I know, but this show is so stupid ... but so beautiful ... it makes my D.I.D. act up like you Gollum.

For the first time ever, I'm giving this a +- review.  I love and hate this show.  And I cannot wait for more ... though I super do not want to hear any of them talk every again.  Maybe I'll just turn the subtitles off.