IHAO on ... Halloween Candy

Ahh, yum!  Halloween brings out the food lover in me.  Ok, being fat brings out the food lover in me.  24/7.  All the time.  BUT.  Halloween has special candies and special treats to talk about, and I got a handful over the course of the past week or so, and I'm excited to break up all this horror movie talk and talk about CANDY!  And not "shaped like a pumpkin" or has witches drawn on the package candy.  Actually different flavors.  Stuff for parties, not for trick or treat.  Ok, here we go!

Candy Corn Cotton Candy

There are too many C's.  Just ... too much.  And I'm just not too sure how this is going to work.  Oh, how this is going to work!  I should explain it.  I'm going to give pre-thoughts, then eat it, then in the next paragraph you'll get my actual thoughts and a grade!  And yes, this is just a huge excuse for me to have bought a bunch of candy and eat it while watching my wife watch Stupidnatural season 9.  All right, Candy Corn Cotton Candy, let's go.

Huh.  So, firstly, the consistency is ... off.  It dissolves quick, like normal cotton candy, but it dissolves a little too quick.  The actual flavor is very light, but it kinda does taste like candy corn.  I'm a BIG fan of candy corn by itself, so these candy corn flavors are always going to be stuff I like, but also stuff I'll scrutinize.  But you know, I really do like it.  I can see myself snacking on it, and the lingering flavor is very much candy corn, and it is real nice.  Grade: B+

Pumpkin Spice Oreo

Weird oreo flavors are always a crapshoot for me.  Sometimes, they are really nice.  And sometimes they are spit them out of your mouth bad.  And even worse, these ones are the non-chocolate cookie ones, but the regular old yellow cookie ones.  Which are generally gross.  I'm ... I'm afraid.  Let's give it a go.

The smell is super duper strong.  Smells like a candle, like a really really strong one.  But you know what, it is super good.  I think calling it "pumpkin spice" is a disservice.  Yeah, it is a buzzword flavor nowadays, which sucks, because it keeps these from being rated as exactly what they are: pumpkin pie cookies.  It has that great crunch of the crust, the wonderful soft filling flavor, it really is superb.  Possibly my favorite Oreo ever.  Grade:A++

M&Ms Pumpkin Spice and Candy Corn flavors

I had these before last year, and remembered I enjoyed ... one of them.  I just didn't remember which.  So Halloween rolls around again, time for me to just get them both, but this time I get to actually review them!

The Candy Corn was sublime!  White chocolate, smooth, and just wonderful tasting.  It didn't taste like candy corn, though.  Which is odd.  And ... I guess a failure?  I mean, the candy tastes GREAT, but it isn't candy corn flavor.  I like it though.  Grade: B+

The Pumpkin Spice ones are in normal chocolate ... and are stupid gross.  I mean, I know some other folks like them, and that's fantastic.  And sure, it is hard to get chocolate and pumpkin spice wrong.  But it just does not mix well for me.  It is still high quality, but I sure don't want it in my mouth.  Grade: B--

Hersey's Candy Corn Creme Bars

Mmmm, more white chocolate.  And more candy corn, though this time as weird flecks inside the white chocolate.  I'm eating and trying all these with my wife, and she is very uncertain, because of her hatred of white chocolate.  I dunno how this is gonna go, but I hope it'll go down smooth.

Well, they were UN-pleasant.  It actually tasted more like candy corn cotton candy than the Candy Corn Cotton Candy did.  I liked it.  She hated it.  It isn't wonderful or anything.  It is pleasant as long as you like white chocolate.  Otherwise, eh.  Grade: C+

Starburst Candy Corn

Mmm, starbursts.  You see, I like chocolate fine.  I like white chocolate a little bit more.  Standard sugar I'm generally not a fan of, preferring salty stuff.  But berry-flavor and fruit-flavor stuff is the BOMB.  I love that stuff!  And Starburst Red is just the best of the best!  And the rest of Starburst is basically forgettable and nothing I want to eat.  How is it going to go with Candy Corn?  Well, there is cherry, orange, strawberry, and lemon.  So I guess I'll just have to try all four.

Those are waxy and disgusting.  Blech!  I tried each flavor, and the only one really tolerable at all was lemon.  All of them have this gross waxy texture and this AWFUL aftertaste that hits you like a bag of wax bricks.  Ugh.  I also decided to do a whole handful.  I had to spit it out.  Disgusting.  Grade: F--

Hersey's Pumpkin Spice Kisses

More Hersey's!  More completely adequate chocolate that isn't great or anything but is perfectly fine.  Yeah, I'm not a Hersey's lover.  I prefer stuff with toffee.  But yeah, these are white chocolate with pumpkin spice, which should make them way better than the M&Ms.  I hope.

Mmmmmmm these are heavenly.  They are so soft and sweet and creamy.  They just melt in your mouth in such a wonderful way.  These are divine.  I really really love these.  Mmmmmmmm.  Grade: A+

Brach's Candy Corn: Pumpkin Spice, Caramel Apple, and S'more flavors

And we finish things up with good ole Brach's, and three very special weirdo flavors.  I'm super duper worried about all three of these being stupid gross.  Let's do this!

Pumpkin Spice: This!  THIS is the texture I love of Candy Corn!  And the pumpkin spice is just not appetizing.  This might be the most candle flavored one.  Not as waxy as the Starbursts, but more candle-y.  Blech.  Grade: D-

Caramel Apple: I love the texture and the apple flavor a whole bunch.  The caramel doesn't come through though.  It almost tastes mint, which is just off-putting.  It really is missing that sweet glorious caramel part.  The apple flavor is really nice, though.  Grade: C

S'More: Wow, it is CRAZY how well this combination works.  There is still a bit of that weird aftertaste that hinders this, and since I'm not much of a s'more person myself, it doesn't do much for me, but my wife really liked these ones.  And they are the best of these novelty flavors.  Man, if only there was a caramel flavor in the Caramel Apple ones.  Grade: C.5


Well, I hope you all enjoyed this little diversion.  I know I ... well, it was a mixed bag.  But maybe now you know what to stock your little jars of candy with and can enjoy your halloween.  Oh, and did I mention, Saw III review tomorrow, suckas!!!