IHAO on ... 7 x 7 Steakburger

I don't know if you know this about me, but I have insomnia.  Oh wait, I mentioned that earlier.  But even on nights that I get normal sleep, I'm a bit of a nightowl.  I tend to stay awake, watching films I review in the dark quiet of the living room, sometimes with my roommates, both of which also tend to be nightowls.  So when the munchies hit, I've been known to go around and enjoy the food of the masses late at night.  And there are of course some specials at some of those restaurants catering to the nightowls, the Who as I called this group of people once in an article that I am currently writing ... uh ...

Anyway.  Let's talk Steak and Shake.  My roommates LOVE Steak and Shake.  We go there ... well, I go there at least once a month.  They go much more often.  I suspect one goes twice a week minimum.  I can see the appeal.  It is like a nice trucker diner, a restaurant that provides consistency along with greasy diarrhea and questionable clientele after midnight.  Ok, a little harsh for the sake of the joke there.  I've never had a BAD experience at Steak and Shake.  I've had some ... iffy ones that definitely changed my health for a few days or weeks.  But hey, I love their chili, and their burgers are almost reasonably priced enough for me to never complain about the cost.

I say all this because we went on a journey for the legendary 7 x 7 Steakburger!  What is that?  Well, it is basically exactly what it sounds like: seven patties of the Steak and Shake classic thing steak patties, with seven pieces of American cheese, all on some basically non-descript buns.  Yeah, you can ask for some specialties to it, like adding some veggies or some condiments, but they are not put on the burger but on the side.  And it is quite difficult to put mustard on a burger 7 patties high, covered in enough grease to fill up a modest two-door sedan's transmission.

Tame this wild beast, stock photo hands.  Tame it!

All right, I realize that using the term "journey" was definitely an overstatement.  We got done with a game of Magic that went about 30 minutes longer than necessary, say it was 12:30, and we had all been wanting to try the mythical 7 x 7.  So we hop into a car and get there.  Not much of a journey.  But the anticipation made it seem so much greater.  How good was it going to be?  Or potentially how absolutely dreadfully horrible will it make us feel in the few minutes after we engorged ourselves with more steak-patties than a table of 7 would order on average.

We got there.  We ordered it.  They got my order wrong ... again.  I do not really understand how it can be so difficult to understand the concept of "no fries, yes chili" but whatever.  We get the mammoth burger.  And the first thing I notice ... it isn't that big.  I was expecting with 7 patties something hugely enormous.  Some monolith of meat, a skyscraper-esque burger that could feed the put upon laborers of whatever flowery language world I'm apparently using as my metaphor land today.  But yeah, no, it wasn't very big at all.  Sure, it was bigger than you could get your mouth around easily, but by the first few bites I didn't have a problem taking regular bites, didn't have to divvy the burger up into smaller portions, none of that.  Second observation: TOO MUCH GREASE.  I could squeeze mine and it was like a wet sponge filled with just the most vile tobacco spittle.

But I was there to eat the thing.  I was there to conquer this not so difficult to conquer challenge.  The joke price was excellent, by the way: $7.77.  Perfect.

Flavor for me ... I don't think that Steak and Shake burgers are much to write home about.  And this was ... just more of that.  It was heartier, there was more of it, but ultimately kind of bland.  Not bad by any means, but bland.  I don't regret the food, and I didn't get nearly as ill feeling the next day as the others with me did.  But ... I do not think I would recommend someone devour what we did.  But it was curious, and I'm happy to have finally done it.

/\// tOrtUrE-jEssEl-A-thOn \\/\

June 3rd through June 9th

From June 3rd to the 8th, I want to have TORTURE-JESSEL-A-THON!  I am going to put myself through the worst films and most hated films that all you guys can think of.  I'm going to collect them all over the next week, and debut the schedule on Monday, the 2nd.  Then for a whole week, you will get to see me go through pain for all your pleasure, ending with a very special, very controversial IHAO that was supposed to be filmed years ago but I never had the guts to actually shoot, featuring a movie that makes me fuming at the mouth angry, and might be my most hated film.

So, send comments, shares, etc. Thanks again!

1 comment:

  1. Jackie Chan's "The Medallion" and "The Tuxedo"
    Jim Carrey's "The Cable Guy"
    "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen"
    "Richie Rich's Christmas Wish"
    Sylvester Stallone's "Judge Dredd"