IHAO on ... Ocean's Twelve

I hate it.  Roll credits.

No, no, I promised myself I would try my hardest to not do cop out reviews.  I hate these self-gratifying, jack-offery terrible lowest common denominator bullcrap movies.  This movie is about the dumbest, most boring, most asinine thing.  It is one of those movies that I WISH was shot worse, so I could just give it an F.  It isn't an F.  It is just stupid, and no one is really caring about acting at all in any kind of "doing a good job" way, just a picking up a paycheck way.  Ok, Matt Damon has a character, in that he's nervous.  There you go.

Plot this time around: Ocean's Eleven, now known by that, are ratted out to the guy they stole the money from (even though there is no conceivable way that the rat could have possibly known about at LEAST two of them), who then threatens them with a vague threat that we just have to assume means something, because the movie IMMEDIATELY becomes an entirely different thing about two other famous thieves and doing a "long-con" because that term was described in the beginning of the movie.  And they succeed by looking like they fail in the largest way possible, including a HOLOGRAPHIC EGG ... a three-dimensional, fully colored, holographic egg that malfunctions constantly so the audiences can see that the obviously fake egg is indeed obviously fake, but no one ELSE sees the stupid malfunctions and glitches ... ugh ...

OH!  OH!!  And Julia Roberts plays herself!  And Topher Grace plays a really fake version of himself that doesn't make any sense!  And this MOVIE IS STUPID AND I HATE IT SO MUCH AND I HAVE TO WATCH ANOTHER ONE STILL AUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Movie is shot fine.  Is incredibly stupid.  It is edited incredibly badly, leaving in stupid long mumble senses and stare-at-each-other-in-a-circle scenes.  Ugh.  No one cares.

Grade: C--- (I pray that the next one is bad enough I can fairly give it a D, because I want to give these movies grade W for being so terrible.  W being even further down the alphabet).


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